Life Moments

When you're sixteen, and you ponder what life will be like when you're finally grown up, look beautiful, and are in the magical 'twenties', you picture life moments.  Graduations, engagements, wedding dress shopping, getting a first real job... but I also pictured little things like wondering if I'd have enough money to buy shampoo, and eating out with friends, and my own professional-grown-up apartment.  The past few months have been full to the seams of these kinds of life moments.




Student Teaching in AP US History.
Miranda and Roper getting engaged.
One weekend, I attended the beautiful Esther's senior thesis reading and enjoyed lots of poetry and short stories.  The next day I was in Houston with Miranda and we bought a wedding dress.
Teaching Sunday School.
Having my car overheat on 59 while Allie and I were on the way home from Bible study (Betty's in her old age and its showing).
Stepping right from student teaching into a 9th grade non-pre-AP World Geography class which had lacked a good bit of discipline and perhaps some important instruction from August to November 7.
Singing in The Messiah with my Bible study girls and the SFA Choirs (including some faces/voices that make me feel like I'm home).
Not being in love, and trying to give up that idol of a future husband.
Alycia's graduation.
Smelling an all too familiar cologne at the exact spot that a high school sweetheart used to wait for me after school while walking to my very own classroom.
Allie & Esther's graduation and Christmas at Maw and Paw's that same day.  
Missing Sarah's wedding for that Christmas and graduation.
Getting lost in the spiritual desert with a cold, cold heart.
Having affections again.
Struggling like Atlas with issues of education, war, and anti-intellectualism in the church, and dealing with the fact that no one else seems to really care what's right or wrong.
Trying to figure out how grace and discipline work together.
My little sister's 20th birthday.
Reconciling not being about to go to Passion.
Comfortable, familiar, and loving touches between friends at church.
The smell of sweaters, hot chocolate, and the first time you turn on the heat for winter.
Accepting that while I know my two best friends a lot better than their soon-to-be husbands do, that they belong to God, and he is allowing them to be given into the care of these two men, and there's nothing I can do, or should do, to change that.
Living back at home with the parents, and weighing the pros and cons (mostly pros).
Being engrossed in a new book series.
Respecting and adoring an old favorite teacher on a new level as she becomes boss and colleague.
Realizing how arrogant, cynical, and annoying I can be.
Getting a paycheck that's bigger than three digits for the first time.
Great conversations at Starbucks, during long car rides, at IHOP, and in living rooms.
Planning what's next... teaching overseas or just in Dallas or East Texas? Master's degree or doctorate?
Reading a blog that makes me feel like I'm not alone in my life pursuits, and reminding me that life is to be lived to the fullest, and that living in rooted in the Lord is worth it.




And luckily, I have always been able to afford shampoo.

Truth, Love, and Pixie Dust

This blog is taking a new direction.
1.  It is significantly less political (though that is unavoidable sometimes).  Mainly because the privacy settings at LiveJournal are superior to the ones here, and let's just say that talking politics often equates to vocalizing vulgarities in some people's minds, and the world is changing.  I'm maturing, I guess.  Trying to get less angry.  Also, it's slightly unprofessional.  
2.  It is still going to be me, so I write the same - long, cerebral, off-kilter.  I'm working on it, I swear!
3.  I'm taking a leaf out of my friends' books.  People like people more than they like arguments.  So more personable-ness. :D




Major themes:


Truth:  There is this constant meme that appears in my life.  Seeker of Truth.  It's also a thing in a book series that I love, but that's not only where it came from - that's merely where the term presented itself most clearly.  Overall, though, it's become more clearly defined in my life.  There's a lot of goals people have in their lives:  Be happy.  Glorify God.  Be Successful.  Whatever - although being happy seems to be one of the most prevalent, I'm learning.  For me, seeking truth and telling about it is a big goal.  The telling part has been less than perfect, but it's getting better.  


Love:  There's nothing more important than love.  It is so much deeper than we can imagine.  And it is so fascinating in how it takes many forms.  We have always felt its presence, and rarely question its origin and existence.  It is a force not to be reckoned with.  It exerts itself through faith; shows itself most clearly in sacrifice, and is most enjoyable in moments that only the soul recognizes.
"So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13)


Pixie Dust:  (See 'Interesting Blog Posts' as well)  C.S. Lewis once remarked that "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."   I have always loved fairy tales, folklore, and children's stories.  In fact, I still have my suspicions about the actual past existence of dragons.  But, mainly fairy tales just remind me to look deeper into all things.  There's a rhyme for a reason, you could say.  
When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies...  It makes you smile with nostalgia, and giggle a little remembering childhood enchantment.  Because you see, I am so often anguished by this broken world.  I see through jaded eyes the cruelty, the depravity, the shallowness, the injustice, and the ignorance.  So, it's a breath of fresh spring air for me to remember childhood enchantments, which remind me to look for the beauty of the thing, the good of the thing, and the deeper meaning.


Beautiful Feet:  "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!"  (Romans 10:15)